Necessary Lies

I am that defender that during a “monkey post” football match will innocently accept that I had a slight  touch of the ball in my process of defending which led to sending the ball to “over” on my side of the net which  must lead to a “corner kick” to be taken by our opponent who are looking for every opportunity to send the ball into our net.

While our opponents will be screaming, “the ball touch her”  and ” na corner oooo ” , my team mates  will be saying “na lie, e no touch am” “na your team mate kick am last”.

All these argument will be going on while I have gone to rescue or bring  back the ball from where it will be safely relaxed in the gathering of bushes, unruffled at their argument because she can’t say who was kicked her last.

Upon my  arrival, amidst shouts of “ask, ask her  ” , I  will calmly say “the ball touched me small, so na corner ” then I will throw the ball to an opponent.

You can imagine the gross disappointment on the faces of my team mates and the look of elation on the faces of our opponent.

“Maureen, you no go die if you say the ball nontouch you ooooo, na football be this  and this small small lie dey necessary “.

Are they truly necessary?

On Amber Rose’s “all men cheat”

I refuse to accept the above statement made by Amber Rose, a top shop model based in the United States.

Manyy a times we are faced with arguments as this and many come up with their different answers which most of the times is based on their envirnment, experiences and choices.

Saying all men cheat because you have dated five men who cheated is an outrageous overgeneralization, for crying out loud, there a billions of other men you have not dated, who wouldn’t cheat even if it was in a bid to save their lives.

Trust me, I quite understand the angle she is basing her above statement, still I say it’s not enough reason.
Most times, I hear people say, ”all men are dogs” and then I hear a counter reply like ”who asked you to date all of them”, ”even your dad too”, ”you must be shameless ‘cos you always go back to your vomit (men)”. And when I see all these, I shake my head and wonder what the world is becoming.

What is cheating?
I would rather call it infidelity so I can buttress my point.
What are the types of cheating or infidelity?
Why does it happen?
Who is to blame?

Cheating or infidelity in a relationship is when a person, X who is emotionally attached to another person Y also gets attached to yet another person Z.

To me I would say there are types of cheating or infidelity:
-emotional infidelity
-financial infidelity
-spiritual infidelity
as their names imply, one would deduce how it operates.

Emotional infidelity deals with when person X is emotionally attached to person Z while professing undying love to person Y with whom he has not emotional connection (why not just break away from one).
Financial infidelity is when person X lies to person Y that there is no cash but goes ahead to become a spendthrift when person Z is around, meanwhile person X is emotionally attached to person X who always seems to understand.

Spiritual Infidelity is when person X tells person Y that he worships in catholic and tells person Z that he worships in Roman catholic which is his true place of worship.

Note: he lied to person Y because of some sort of benefits he gets from that person as a result of such lie.

Amber Rose, the men that cheat, cheat because of some reason which I’d be listing below.

-low self esteem
-ego
-need to be approved by peers
-confusion
-immaturity
-lack of personal value
-deceitfulness.
-fear of commitment
-revenge

Who is to blame? Of course the cheater is to blame but sometimes, the cheated has a role to play in encouraging  the cheating spouse.

I disagree with your above state, not all men cheat.
There are still faithful men.
There are still men who understand what it means to be a man of responsibility and a man of honour, respect and character.

I know some and I can vouch for them. So forgive me if I disagree with your single story.

All men don’t cheat.

Photo credit: Facebook

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I won’t marry a man that sees an ambitious but respectful woman as an unhealthy competition. We are supposed to be partners in our joint venture.

If you don’t expect me to make marks as a woman, if you don’t expect me to take over territories,
If you don’t expect me to achieve my numerous goals,
If you don’t want me devour and conquer,
If you don’t want me to have a say in the running of the homefront,
If you don’t have any plan for me but to be a full house wife,
If you only see me as piece of furniture or decoration for your house.

If you are so confident that my place is in the kitchen,
If you fear I might be more successful than you,
If you fear that I may rake in more cash than you,
If you fear that I may be loose because I am fair to behold upon,
If you see every male that comes around me as my sexual partner,
If you care about just your growth,
If you are selfish,
If you resist change,
If you feel that I cannot contribute to your success,
If you feel that because you are man, you are to be the lion of the tribe of Judah of our home so we must fear you,
If you are all these, then you don’t need a woman with a vision, purpose and goal.